Communication

Boyfriend: Something

Girlfriend: That something means something else, therefore something else something else

Boyfriend: Well that's not what I said so that must mean something else something else

So on and so forth.

Confusing, I know, but this is basically what a lot of relationship arguments come down to, in the words of Led Zeppelin, a communication breakdown. Any kind of deeply trusting love can cause vulnerability. No, it necessarily shouldn't but for some point in time through a relationship it can. But personal fears getting in the way of personal relationships is never a fun game or a fair bargain. True, they are your fears, your feelings, but they are negatively associated ones and far better done without. It is all really quite logical. Instead of making an assumption and reacting on it when your partner says something you don't understand or are unsure of simply ask them about it. Don't put up a fight or a front or what Mark and I call the Nothing.

"Babe, what's wrong"

"Nothing"

...we all know the answer usually isn't nothing. So, instigate the no-nothing rule. Nothing is never an answer, and nothing goes undiscussed. If your level of trust and understanding is strong enough than no topic or statement should ever be able to cause a fight. Fights only lead to ultimatums, its either good bad or over after a fight, in my opinion at least. How much easier it seems to simply ask, simply listen, and simply understand what's going on!

Furthermore on a completely personal note which hasn't happened quite so far I would like to add what a fantastic weekend we had. It started off a little shaky as Mark and I had our own miscommunication regarding my performance, but instead of holding anger, I held a special performance with my team after the game (I'm on the Dance Team, we perform at Basketball games). It only got better from there. New experiences like interpretive dance, new tastes like pure hot chocolate, and of course the ultimate goodness: Great Pinot Noir.

Love love people and fear it not....its more afraid of you than you are of it.

Here's to you, Baby.

Where does the Good Go?

Reflection is important whether its about your emotions, your anxieties or even what you see in the mirror. I find that there are days I go by without taking a good moment to have a conversation with myself in the mirror. Now I know this might sound kind of crazy but the days when I get to hang out with myself seem to be some of the happier days I have. Take a moment to dance in the mirror and make all your faces. Its a good time. Reflection brings things to our attention in a positive light...its all self realization and self affirmation in my opinion at least. Showcase yourself to yourself and the world is truly your stage. The more you can pull out of your head the less you have to stay in it. Furthermore, the more you give yourself the ability to depend on you for affirmation and entertainment the less you have to depend on others like your partner. I love you is great to hear from your significant other, but its greatest to give yourself in a nice big smile through the mirror. Realizing that certain smile you make when you laugh really is that beautiful is more of an I love you than any kind of romance. So fall in love with yourself as often as possible and the reasons for anyone else doing so will simply fade away. Your romance doesn't need one thing but you.